**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
