I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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