in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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