Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
