Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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