do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
