i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
