I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
