I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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