I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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