What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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