the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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