You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
