Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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