these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
