If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
