she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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