You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
