I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
