Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
