She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
