we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
