I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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