he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
