So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize