Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
