I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
