did you get engaged???
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
