is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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