Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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