I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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