I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
