haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
