I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
