why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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