Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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