the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
