Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
