Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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