Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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