Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
