we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
