i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
