worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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