i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
