I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
