do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize