you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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