need another drink. this is the easiest way
i don't like sucking hair
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
