you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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