Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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