Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
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