she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
...so i touched it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
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That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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