Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Who died my cat blue again?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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